Highly-Valued Reflections

Radio Show

2009-12-08T17:33:24Z

Yo Hi Guys.

I've been doing a radio show with my friends. It is aired on WRFU 104.5 Low Power FM in beautiful Urbana. Here was last week's show, which I had an unusually good time doing:

"HYPER LINK"

Yo and here's a mix I put together a few weeks ago, that also happened to be on my thumbdrive.

"HYPER LINK"

Dan!

Cutter Lives!

2009-10-07T15:51:46Z

"The struggle for order against the forces of chaos is eternal. So too must I be."
--Charles Ammi Cutter Mk. II

Hot new ish

2009-10-01T17:58:37Z

You can now preview Fifty Flip #13. Click cover below.

Also, I have sold out of issues 5 and 8, so you can now read those online in their entirety.

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-04-28T09:03:00

2009-04-28T14:07:28Z

I used this image or the front and back cover of the new issue of The Fifty Flip Experiment.

You can read 2/3 of the comic here.

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-17T20:34:00

2009-03-18T01:36:37Z

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-16T20:08:00

2009-03-17T01:11:24Z

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-11T21:43:00

2009-03-12T02:53:50Z

Presented here is a comic about puns, but also about the human condition. It is a sampling from the forthcoming eleventh issue of my comic zine "The Fifty Flip Experiment." You can read 2/3 of all of my zines at my website www.fiftyflipexperiment.com

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-09T22:27:00

2009-03-10T03:30:13Z

I'm happy to announce that you can now preview the first 2/3 of the 10th issue of The Fifty Flip Experiment at www.fiftyflipexperiment.com

Here is some stuff that will probably end up in the eleventh:

I would say you should probably just allow this stuff to overtake you.

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-08T12:12:00

2009-03-08T17:14:01Z

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-07T16:00:00

2009-03-07T22:02:00Z

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-03-05T03:53:00

2009-03-05T09:58:35Z

Gosh, I hope these are the right answers!

2009-03-05T05:43:49Z

Q: How do you get More Famous?
A: Grind Harder.

Q: Why should you get More Famous?
A: To make a living from one's creative output.

Q: And why should one want that so desperately?
A: It is one's culture

or

A: It is an axiom.

daniel_m_hill @ 2009-01-05T19:22:00

2009-01-06T01:23:49Z

sigh

2008-10-12T19:11:52Z

Here's a sneak peak of a page from issue eight.

Hello.

2008-10-10T04:49:17Z

I actually do have my shit pretty together, but just not on the internet. Issue eight of the fifty flip will probably be in the can tonight.

PS. privyet, inexplicable Russians.

daniel_m_hill @ 2008-08-06T14:03:00

2008-08-06T19:13:55Z

A feeling of restless cohesion permeated the magistrate. Admiral Douglas Cornwallterclickclickington had taken up the iron-heavy mantel. It was his birthright, though that didn't make it any easier on the kids. The cube-electricity anticipating ascension had blown all fuses. Normal had taken refuge behind the vanishing point. It was all the inmates could do to keep their eyes down and flies open.

They had given themselves up to the dance.

Bon vivant Admiral could peer down from the battlements of the Castle Priapism and drink in every drugged whimper.

"What must it be like," he mused, "For them to steal glances and to wonder?"

The spitoons rang in unison.

"How is it that I alone am deprived the inspiration I radiate?"

He was up late making decisions to the harpsichord.

Nine eleven was an inside job.

Christmas isn't something we do once a year. Christmas is a feeling. When a wasted placeholder gets his free rice dot com: Christmas. When hubby's too drunk for the blows to land: Christmas. When the Gen Eds enhance a thirsty young mind:
Ducks. flock. together.

daniel_m_hill @ 2008-07-07T22:56:00

2008-07-08T04:09:19Z

I haven't updated in a long time because I am the busy guy. I'm trying to put out a xeroxed zine every month. I'm already behind schedule. I haven't updated my website because I am completely redoing it. It should both look a lot nicer, and increase the chances of chumps buying my zine. The new website should be up in a week (knock on wood) It will be soooo easy to buy zines on my new site because I have paypal going nuts. Busting nuts everywhere! If you can't wait until then, you can email me your real life address and I can send you one now. I've been pretty johnny zine-seed with my zines so far, but at some point dudes are going to have to start paying a dollar for them. But also, whatever! I'm working on issue 7 now. It's going to be the raddest because it is the first zine that will feature all new content that I made on schedule. Except it won't be on schedule ha ha. ah ha hahahhahahahahahaahhahahahafuck

PS: you will probably have noticed most of the images on this blog work as much as broken. That is because scott, as a dude and as a rule, will not be hosting serverspace because of his decisions. That's okay, scott, I don't agree with it but I respect it. I will swing by best buy and pick up some monster cables and hosting servers soon, and relocate my system folder.

PPS:bonus joke, why don't fish need belt loops? BECAUSE THEY LIVE UNDERWATER AND ARE UNABLE TO FASHION THEM.

daniel_m_hill @ 2008-04-26T13:28:00

2008-04-26T18:30:20Z

SUCCESS

2008-03-28T01:08:32Z

SUCCESS is a pantry; you take OUT what you put INTO YOUR PANTRY.

I was walking in the business district; I wore all of my silk. I got this silk from my pantry.
An old merchant asked me the secret to my success.

I asked: "Old man, what do you put into your pantry?"

He replied, "That is not my custom."

I looked askance at his little frame, "and your tribe: Is it noble?"

He smiled a big gap-toothed grin. Almost human. "I come from a very noble tribe" He beamed. "We know nothing of woodwork. I barely even recall how I became familiar with the concept."

This, to me, was acceptable. Even desirable. I smiled at the little elder, and he mugged at me amiably as if to say, "Well, here we are, both of us!" I wrapped the merchant in a plague blanket and he shined my shoes. It was the highlight of my day.

Later that night I was really giving it to my wife. Really letting her have it. She said to me, "This is something I didn't expect! Why is this happening?," and then slyly, "Happening downstairs?"

It pleased me that she should notice, and directly I answered, during the act. "Today I killed a man."

daniel_m_hill @ 2008-03-27T13:28:00

2008-03-27T18:28:55Z

Torpid waxed the boatswain. A massive brow melted over his eyes: a matron's gut.

The rudder languid and unruly. It pushed the swain's flaking hand in co-opting waves.

Thoughts linear: largish marbles through a condom. When they reached the reservoir tip they had a drink.

Swain's tip full to bursting with cold glass thoughts. Tanked and granite. He pushed his hair back to look at the green moon.

..."I'm not going to pay a lot for this muffler."

"This muffler called life."

---00---

I don't need to tell you that Krunchos is gunning for clowns. We've been the nation's premier corn based chip since we sent the Munchers jackals packing.

(the beginnings of applause)

Now you cut that shit out right now! Munchers was strictly amateur hour!

(fist to forehead, eyes shut)

Twenty years later and you're all still happy as pigs in shit to pat your backs raw. So listen up:

(sputtering, mustachioed rage)

just quit that shit out right now. Jesus Christ, I've got a room full of eels in this room. Your eyes have all got the wrong kind of fear. I want to make some chips right now, fuckers! I want to make some chips!

(whispered)When was the last time that meant anything to anybody here?

(The CEO's thumb traces the corner of the youngest businessman's mouth)

(showy suicide)

(standing ovation)

(sound starts playing backwards, see also: use of reverse symbols in late flaming lips production)

(erections deflate, blood climbs back into Krunchos CEO)

Blood and something else. Something new to the wheel's present rotation. A tiny black spot. It worms its way into the CEO's heart and orders Tivo.

An Update From The Year 1762

2008-03-26T18:38:04Z

My room-mate is a total drag.

He will not shut up about train-brain.

It is all he will ever talk about. "Can I borrow a sixspot for the amtrak," he titters. "I've got a t-brain jones that could kill a horse."

He walks in covered in blood at all hours. He is trying to try to prove a point about the violence of his joneses. I know it's not real horse blood. He'd be lucky to ace a mule.

"Why will you not shut up about all this shit that doesn't mean anything," I asked him one day. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life rolling tinfoil into little tubes?"

Nobody pays him to do this, by the way.

"To me," He responded in a baritone, a little trail of nitrous oxide snaking out of his mouth,"Family is the most important thing you can do."

I'm trying to convince him to buy one of those hoodies that zips all the way up. I just can't quit the guy.

My roommate's name? Oh gosh, I don't know, just a little guy named ISAAC NEWTON.

daniel_m_hill @ 2007-11-19T08:19:00

2007-11-19T14:20:53Z

This is the first chapter of my Fantasy Novel On Tape===>

daniel_m_hill @ 2007-08-01T09:45:00

2007-08-01T14:49:18Z

QAre you Jeremy Scahill?

AI am yes, and have been for some time now. Recreationally, but
also just as a good way to get around town.

QAre you experienced?

ABy Whom?I suppose you'd have to ask those experiencing. I would not
be surprised to find that I am being experienced. We could speculate
to our heart's content but I feel our limited time might be better
allocated to the skillful manipulation of the fragile.

QAlexander Toth once said, "It takes and army to enforce the wrong law,
and that army requires chinstraps for most of their helmets." Is this
a relevent sentiment after Guantanamo?

AWell, I feel we can really reexamine the very notion of chinstrap.
In the past the military wanted to keep the helmets on the heads of its
soldiers, primarily to prevent wounds from being inflicted upon them.
This is understandable, if a little uptight to the modern reader.

However, if earth is as hollow as most of us, it can be understood to function as a
balloon, aloft and in combat with the gravitational suction of the
mother/whore Sol. If this is the case, we can correctly assume each human
being to be a particular basket in relation to the hot-air balloon named Gaia.

Finally if it is the case that we are baskets, then any given basketcase can think of
his chinstrap as the burner which awards Gaia a brief respite from the
incessant pull of the sun.

QWe've had a lot of fun talking to Jeremy Scahill.
"Oh Black Water Keep on Rolling," an examination of the effects of MDMA within
the Hessian community, is available in cars and laundromats and all the
other places it "is". We'll see you tomorrow night when my guests are ten men
deciding whether or not to stand.

GET SMART DON'T BE A RETARD

2007-05-25T18:48:59Z

DANIEL MARTIN HILL NET ID DANHILL WRITES ABOUT METEORS

There are several important things that a person must be very certain that he makes sure that he looks for when he is looking to partake of the activity that is commonly called “discerning whether or not a particular rock that has been found is indeed a meteorite or is some other more terrestrial formation that, though possibly interesting for reasons specific to it, has no place in a serious discussion about meteorites.” This is a noble undertaking to be sure, but the hypothetical participant must train himself in the art meteorite identification if he is to succeed in his chosen activity. One way to raise the chances of success is to read all of the sentences that come after this sentence. One of the first things you must check for on your hypothetical meteorite object is for the presence or absence of metal. To do this, perhaps you could employ a metal detector. Failing that, I would suggest using the naked eye. If metal is indeed present, then the possibility of the object being a meteor is still existent. If there is no metal in the object, you should either check again for metal, or decide that your object is not a meteorite. The next thing you might want to check for is density. Does your object float? Then it is less dense 3.3 grams per cubic centimeter, and is not a meteor, I mean meteorite. If it sinks, it might still be heavier than the density of water but not quite as dense as 3.3 grams per cubic centimeter. In any case, determine the density using science, and if it’s pretty dense, it is still in the running. Is it magnetic? Check with a magnet! If it is, then it might still be a meteorite. Does your object have chondrules? Oh, I’m sorry; do you know what a chondrule is? A chondrule is a stony ball. Does it have those? I only ask because many meteorites do have those, and as such their presence or absence might be used as a good “meteorite barometer.” Are there thumbprints on your object? Those aren’t thumbprints! Those are regmaglypts! Those mean that your object can be a meteorite! Does your object say “skylab?” That cannot be a meteorite! That is skylab. Is there a very thin layer of melted object on your object? This is a good indication of meteorite status.

I hope you have enjoyed this meteorite tutorial. Try it with many objects, I am confident that you will be pleased with the results. Armed with this new knowledge get out there and tell your METEORITES from your METEORNOTMETEORITES!

Welcome to my party y'all I'm so damn glad you made it, chillin' like a cylinder: Dan's so graduated

2007-05-15T09:37:07Z